As children we think that everything will finally come together when we are adults. We have the plan all set… we will graduate, get a good job, get married and have a few children. That have it all figured out and think nothing can stop us. Unfortunately that is not how it goes, it tends to be harder than that. The way we react to the challenges defines who we are.
I would like to introduce you to one of the best people I know, Montana. I have known Montana for over ten years and have seen her through so many of life’s greatest growing up challenges, such graduation, a wedding and welcoming her sweet baby boy into the world. She has taught me so much and I think you can also learn a lot from her experience.
The last 18 months have been a whirlwind, to say the least. Planning for pregnancy, pregnancy, and motherhood have all shaped me in beautiful ways. The way I look at myself, the way I react to challenges, the amount of sleep I can function on, the vulnerability I’m able to share, and the new talent I have for asking for help (even though this one still needs some help) are just a few changes I’ve seen in myself. But honestly, the biggest change I see in myself is a perspective shift and only one phrase comes to mind “fearing the Lord.”
A lot of people take that phrase literally and in some seasons of life the literal interpretation of “fearing the Lord” is spot on. In my current season of life, I replace the word ‘fear’ with the word ‘trust’. Pregnancy and becoming a mom has a way of breaking you, for me in the most humbling way.
There are so many women out there who are incredibly vulnerable and share their stories of infertility and loss. I remember thinking about this when planning to get pregnant. I remember praying that whatever was in His plan that my heart would be prepared for it. I remember thinking about all the women I knew who tried for years to get pregnant, who went through IVF to get pregnant, and who had to face medical doctors telling them they probably would never be able to conceive a child. Naively, I thought if I can just get that positive pregnancy test this anxiety will go away. Then I did, but that anxiety was far from “away.” I then remember thinking about 2 women I hold dearly in my heart who lost their babies in the first trimester. I remember being excited but mostly terrified my entire first trimester. Again, I thought if I can get through the first trimester this anxiety will go away. Wrong again. There are new risks with every stage of pregnancy and even beyond. I don’t believe the fear ever fully goes away. But guess what? I fear the Lord more. I trust the Lord more.
John 14:26 tells us “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will
send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” This means the Comforter lives inside of us. The Comforter strengthens us and builds us up in times of pain or anxiety.