Most of us grew up reading fairy tale stories where the princess is saved by her charming prince, they fall completely in love within seconds and they live happily ever after. Unfortunately, that is not how it works for most of us. Many Christian men and women struggle for years to find their holy spouse, the one God intended for them.
Below is part one of Audrey’s story of her journey to finding her holy spouse. She shares her frustrations and heartaches that led her from feeling hopeless to trusting in the Lord's timing.
For many years of my life, I had a sticker with a simple message displayed on my bedpost just above where I slept. It read, “God always gives His best to those who leave the choice to Him.” These words echoed in my mind as I’d also heard them a thousand times from my very encouraging and prayerful mom and grandma. I never knew this simple message written on a gold sticker that I randomly stuck to my bedpost would come to mean so much to me during one of my greatest trials of waiting. This is my story of waiting for a holy spouse.
I was a recent college graduate trying to navigate the adult world of jobs, bills, and many new life decisions. Amidst the unknowns of life as a young adult, I found myself on fire with my Christian Catholic faith and love for Jesus. Nothing gave me greater peace than being in the presence of Jesus in prayer at the adoration chapel and mass. It was here where I pursued answers about my vocation and the deep longing of my heart to find the holy spouse God had set aside for me. My heart desired to experience the love of God through the Sacrament of Marriage---through the mutual love of my holy spouse and me.
But, this wasn’t an easy process for me. There was a lot of heartache, frustration, and impatience that lay ahead of me. Ever since I was a little girl in love with the story of Cinderella, I dreamed of the day I would find my Prince Charming (a little cliche, I know, lol).
I dreamed of looking as beautiful as my mom on her wedding day. As the oldest of five in my family, I watched all four of my younger brothers experience real long-term relationships before me. I also watched as my friends from college got married, some started their families well before I even met my now husband. I watched all of these people in my life experience romantic fulfillment, all while I was still struggling to go on dates. When I did go on dates, they always left me disappointed and frustrated. I was at my wit's end and losing hope. Why was God punishing me? What had I done to deserve this? Why was everyone else around me able to have a relationship, except me? Why were all my friends getting married and not me? Why were my family and friends constantly telling me that God had someone amazing for me---just wait? Would life be this way forever for me?
It was in the midst of losing hope and tear-filled eyes that the message of that shiny gold sticker flashed in my memory--- “God always gives His best to those who leave the choice to Him.” I was learning and growing in my faith, but I wasn’t turning the desires of my heart over to God. It was then that I knew what I had to do.
The waiting was far from over for me, but I found peace and purpose in waiting for the first time. I trusted in God and His timing, and He NEVER failed me. He had a great adventure planned for me.
If you feel called to the vocation of marriage….if you desire in your heart to find the holy spouse that God has set aside for you...if you are asking yourself the same discouraging questions...if you are praying for a holy spouse, but still struggling to wait, know that you are not alone and that I am praying for you. I know the pain and frustration that comes with waiting, but know that His timing is perfect. He will NEVER fail you, and He has an exciting adventure planned for you too. Trust Him! Leave the choice to Him and He will ALWAYS give you His best!
You are not alone in your frustrations! If you find yourself in a season of singleness, please know that God is still in control and He might be calling you to draw closer to Him during this time. Before you can give your heart fully to another, you must know your own heart. We are praying for you to have peace in your time of singleness!
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